Explain This To Me

21 03 2008

Another Sunday Scribble, this time about what confuses me, what I just don’t get.


You know, when you think about all the ways it shouldn’t have happened, wouldn’t have happened, couldn’t possibly have happened, it’s a wonder. When you think about all the things that had to line up in exactly the right way, had to fall into place just so, it’s pretty amazing.

And yet it did happen. You were at that camp, I was forced to go to that camp. I, the shy kid who never made any friends, felt a connection with you, the beautiful girl who has trouble being around large groups of people. That connection was so strong that we both got over our independent fears of being sociable, and we began to talk. There were others, sure, friends we made, phone numbers we exchanged. But I think, even if we didn’t know it at the time, when each of those other connections was severed, it made sense. Those other connections were never meant to be for the long haul. Those other connections were best friends, which eventually turned into camp friends, and again eventually into, “What was her name?”s. And it made sense. But, even as that was happening, and we were sad about the loss, I think we knew. We knew that we weren’t destined for that. Our connection was meant for the long haul.

And even once that was established, and we didn’t have to worry about losing touch, the world kept lining things up just so. Neither of us kissed the other first. Instead, we both just fell into the kiss, like it had always been there, waiting for us to find it. And who said, “I love you” first? In the darkness, I whispered it. Then you said it, slightly louder. I almost didn’t respond, assuming you were responding to me. In the silence, I said it again, only later learning that you had never heard me that first time. We are the only two people who have ever both said, “I love you” first. That makes us magical.

And even when nobody else understood us, when nobody else accepted us, the world still was on our side. When one of us would move to another city, making the distance between us even further, the other of us would just happen to be moving as well, keeping that distance the same. That is, of course, until the fateful move that shortened that distance to no further than the next room over. Yes, and even that was fated. Your job made the move to Los Angeles mandatory, while my career necessitated the same move.

Then came the real test: would living together, seeing each other every day, become a nightmare that neither of us expected? No. Instead, it led to neither one of us proposing marriage, but both of us knowing that day that now was the time to buy a ring. People ask us, “What’s the story? Did you get down on your knee? Did you propose to him?” But we don’t have a story. We don’t need that. We don’t need everybody else to “get” us. We just need to get each other. And we have.

So, what is it that I don’t understand? What boggles my mind these days? I was going to talk about how I don’t understand why you love me. But the truth is, I do understand. It’s the same reason I love you: we fit, plain and simple. So then I was going to question how two people who are so right for each other could, despite the odds, actually find each other. But I understand that, too: the world said, “Yes.”

So I guess what I don’t understand is that, though I’m aware of all the bad things in the world, the hardships, the sadness, how can it be that there are people in this world who can look out into this crazy place, and genuinely not believe in love?

— ldi




22 responses

21 03 2008

This is truly beautiful

21 03 2008

Wonderful, inspiring … the majority aren’t entitled to get this … congratulations and Thank You for telling 😉

21 03 2008

You too, babe.

21 03 2008
Granny Smith

You describe here the type of relationship that has kept me happy for more than 67 years.

Keep happy!

21 03 2008
Rob Kistner

Very poignant… well written.

21 03 2008

Just beautiful!

21 03 2008
gautami tripathy

One has to work towards it. Great piece!

watered down

21 03 2008

i for one believe in love… i know it exists because one upon a time, it was mine… i am so hoping beyond all hope that this is not fiction……..

22 03 2008
Susan Helene Gottfried

That’s incredible. And I can relate; I met the Tour Manager when I was 12 and he was 11.

22 03 2008

“We fit, plain and simple.” What a wicked good way to put it!! Great post!!

22 03 2008
Imelda / Greenishlady

That’s a wonderful piece of writing – and straight out of the heart.

22 03 2008
Amiene R.ev

Do you know what is the most we cannot get at it? I know something.

23 03 2008

What a beautiful narrative! Don’t worry if no one else believes in love. It is so important that you do!


23 03 2008
Cricket's Hearth

Yes, this was so beautiful – how blessed you are to have found true love.

23 03 2008
Linda Jacobs

This is so well written! You pull the reader in right from the first and the tension only builds and builds. I was rooting for you all the way and felt like cheering at the end!

23 03 2008

What a beautiful story. What a beautiful life you two have. I get it.

23 03 2008

So romantic! Quite a love story for an non-story.

23 03 2008

Excellent! When it happens, it needs no explanation!

23 03 2008

I embrace love stories…and this one was classic. I loved the line about you two falling into the kiss together..and how you “fit so plain and simple.”
When people don’t believe, you are the shining star reminder. Have blessed Easter.

24 03 2008
daily panic

i am exactly where I am supposed to be.

24 03 2008

I don’t get that either. I enjoyed your non-story – it’s wonderful when someone doesn’t worry about what the world thinks and just goes the path he/she feels compelled to follow. Excelllent. 🙂

25 03 2008

oh, that is so very lovely to hear… love still sings loudly in our hearts regardless of timelessness of life… who cares abt the rest…. well, i do care abt the rest but not right now…

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